Contemplating Procrastinating

I feel I need to blog, but again with alot of this thing they kinda suck and I have no clue what it's about most of the time. I guess my main topic that I've been thinking about is life. yep thats right the thing that everyone has and chooses to do with it how they please.

Recently I been realising that I've actually got to hurry up at decided about moving out and getting a proper job, instead of just thinking about do it. As the inevitable is getting closer and closer. I don't really want to to the same thing as I've been doing, but at the same time i don't know what I really want to do.

I had started thinking about 'Plan Z' (my last hope) which was me being Magician idea, the only thing about that is I don't really have the confidence to do that kinda thing, though it could prove as something I could learn to deal with. There is also the fact of needing to be unique. I mean, yes I can do magic, but most of the stuff I can do most magicians can do. I don't have anything new to bring to the table.
Also the general media of maigc seems to have died now that the internet has become more and more popularised since you can probably find out how a trick is done just by googling it.

Life right now to me seems very complicated, this is my turning point of my life right? Move out, get a job that's what growing up is all about. I really hate growing up, why can I be a kid again and not having anything to worry about. This is why I hate the future so much, it never feeling like you're in control. I've never been good at any sort of decision making.
I'm sure I'm not the only person at this state, maybe I need a role model, someone/something I can hope to become? The only problem with role models is the tend to let you down, just like everyone else.